The unyielding and ever increasing desire to live a life that knows no restrictions walks hand in hand with a pressure to succeed that draws upon those same characteristics. It's difficult to choose between your head and your heart when your head doesn't know what the hell your heart is talking about.

The pull to fly away into cities I've never seen, filled with people I've never met, is tantalisingly strong. To surround myself with a knowledge gained from experience - it seems to make the most sense if I want to have any chance at making my words matter. Books surely must only take me so far. Wouldn't it be better to experience foreign sunrises, storms, laughter and excitement first hand then to fantasise about it as I do now?

Yet to throw myself straight into the world of words also holds a logic my brain comprehends well. Being thrown into the ocean isn't always a bad way to learn how to swim, although to drown early on would have a devastating affect on your career. So how can I be sure as to what is the right decision when it comes to my future?

I thought picking a uni was hard enough - now I have to consider how I want the next chapter of my life to begin. I don't believe in leaving everything up to chance, I'm far too stubborn for that. What I do believe in is the capacity for a person to fall into a rhythm of life that plays to their strengths.

I suppose I'm afraid of making the wrong choice. A vain thought but one that persists nonetheless.

Write to me one day,
Nikki Keating.